Saturday, April 2, 2011

Date Night - SuckerPunch

Plot: The story of Alice in Wonderland receives a hyper-violent makeover in Watchmen and 300 director Zack Snyder's fantastical tale of a young psychiatric patient who escapes into a vivid world of fantasy after being committed to a mental hospital by her abusive stepfather. Set in the 1950s, Sucker Punch takes viewers on an incredible journey into the mind of Babydoll (Emily Browning), who finds herself at the mercy of her malevolent stepfather after her mother passes away. With no remaining family and no friends to turn to, her stepfather has her committed to a bleak mental hospital, where she is scheduled to receive a lobotomy in five days. As the procedure draws near, Babydoll creates a phantasmagorical alternate reality in which she must seek out five items in order to secure her freedom. Should she fail, her mind isn't the only thing she stands to lose. Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Carla Gugino, and Jon Hamm co-star in a film co-written by Snyder and Steve Shibuya. via.

Matt's Rating: D+

Nicole's Rating: D-

Matt: Sooooooo, SuckerPunch sucked. Thoughts?

Nicole: It really, really did. So disappointing because I was looking forward to it. I think it's important to note, for our readers, that: there's this "plot" and there's an unnecessary subplot and THEN there's an escapist plot as well. Ugh, I can't wait till we're finished with this so we can stop talking about this movie. So, why, if you can narrow it down, did you think it blows?

M: Well, you would think that hot women with guns, nazi zombies filled with steam, dragon, and robots would all equal a movie worthy of a film titled SuckerPunch.

N: Don't forget the orcs!

M: But, Zach Snyder just epically failed. There was zero characterization, and a razor thin plot that was just there because some producer told him "Zach, you cant just have girls shooting things for two and a half hours."

N: See, I actually disagree with that. I think he really thinks he made a good movie with a solid plot and a lot of heart. Which is what makes it even worse.

M: The visuals were cool but that's it. I mean it's ok to have a movie with a goofy or no plot but it MUST then have edge of your seat action, and this just didnt But I know you liked the beginning.

N: The beginning was AMAZING. I thought, wow. We're in for something really great here. Up until he switched to the subplot/alternate reality, it was great. I think he could have stuck with the reality plot and still kept the action escapist plots. His movie would have been 1000 times better.

M: Agreed. There was NOOOOO need for him to delve into this odd 1950's orphan/stripper fantasy subplot.

N: Except to get them half naked.

M: Yes, which isn't the worst thing ever. He could have easily told his story in the "present day setting" but he apparently doesnt know how to write a movie. I'm not saying the women weren't sexy, cause they were. Especially when they were shooting big guns. Just everything else about the movie sucked.

N: They were hot. But he could have just as easily put then in no clothes for the escapist part of the plot. To cope with her surroundings she goes into videogame hero survival mode.

M: YES NAKED! good idea. You should make movies.

N: If people keep making movies like this, I really think I should start.

M: Emily Browning was decent though. I mean I almost feel bad for her for being in this movie. Hell, John Hamm out acted everybody and he was in the film for like 30 seconds!

N: John Hamm is always the best. His five seconds were my favorite of the movie. What was your favorite part?

M: That's because you like his...hmmm...bulge.

N: Yes. Yes I do. And you liked the bustier and panty shots. We're even.

M: My favorite part was everytime Emily Browning was in her third reality school girl outfit.

N: So, our favorite parts were super yummy but STILL not enough. Closing thoughts?

M: It was pointless. Like watching somebody play a long video game. I mean there were goals to achieve, levels, and even boss fights!!! It's not even a good Sunday action movie. D+

N: My favorite part of this movie was the lobotomy because I wish I would have scheduled one for myself instead. No, no - my favorite part of this movie was when we played with the dachshund puppy at the pet store in the mall right before the movie started. A horrible, horrible movie with zero point and not enough of anything else to make it appealing in any sense. If you can find it, try to watch the first twenty minutes ONLY and then go bake a cake or do something else with your life. D-. (Not an F because the movie was on par with Snyder's others stylistically.)


  1. it's about time you two got back to work

  2. We should be able to post much more now that we're together up in north country. I think we're seeing Hanna tomorrow. Will post that over the weekend.